... to remind me that once I was a taboo, even if in my own mind
what's it all about
Miriam Andes seemingly has it all . . . work, family, friends, and the children at the Center keep her fulfilled even after she unwittingly walks out on Ray. But that all changes when Scottish golf course architect Sinjin Hunter opens up a foreign world, awakening her body and mind in ways unexpected. With no idea that her choices have always been shaped by her mother's secret past, Miriam walks in her mother Laura's shoes ... leaving Laura to wonder if it would have been better to have no secret at all. House in shambles and relationships strained, while her sisters follow as if she were a pied piper, Miriam tramples the line between needs and wants, pushing away all that she actually wants closer.
But she wants one thing & one thing only.
song of songs 8:12
"Are you from the Scottish Highlands?” She sips the whisky, swishing the still in her mouth.
"Yess, my ancestors reputedly from one of the aulder clans."
"Any famous Highlanders I would know?"
"Macbeth was a Highlander."
"Macbeth? He wasn't a figment in Shakespeare's imagination?"
"Macbeth MacFindlaech rruled Scot-land for seventeen yeears."
"He wasn't a figment?"
"No," he leans in, wanting to talk about something else, to not talk at all, "are you per-haps a figment of mine?"
"I am real, very much of the flesh." She takes another sip, letting the whisky pool in her mouth before savoring it again . . . but it still tastes like glue.
Highlanders like only two things naked
The desire & pursuiT
getting what she wants
Where the original idea came from I couldn't tell,
but years later, widowed, I found myself alone in ways unexpected. One morning, while visiting family, I awoke with the need to write. So I put together notes and dialogue accumulated through a couple of years (I have always traveled well prepared). Understanding what it was like to have no one with whom to live days and nights and everything in-between, it was a wee bit natural, and fun, to make Miriam a woman with desire, yet no desire, for a man.
Sinjin was originally English,
but that morning he became a Scot. I had been to Scotland years before and was infatuated (which I continue to be) with the country. He had always been a golf course architect . . . golf and Scots. It made so much more sense!
more difficult to come by was the crux
of the novel. It occurred to me in the midst of writing, after hearing a song, as I was writing sin rumbo ni sentido (without direction or sense). Once incorporated, and made to work and flow, I had doubts. What if a different decision was made? A more realistic and sensible, though much harder to make, decision? So I wrote a second unfolding. I will ask for advice and, if plausible, will also offer the alternate decision and slight changes to the last chapters.
The ending remains the same, the characters do not.
| sometime in 2005, perhaps 2004
| with fervor in 2007, finished end of '08
| in 2012 after innumerable edits
How it Happened
SINJIN WAS ORIGINALLY ENGLISH,
HARDER TO COME BY WAS THE CRUX
It isn't long before Miriam has to
acknowledge she has
wanted anything so much
Where the ORIGINAL idea came from I couldn't tell,